there's paper in my vomit.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
