its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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