Why is your signature on my underwear?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
