oh god the rape fog is back!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
