I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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