Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
