9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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