We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
