I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
