i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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