She's JV to your varsity
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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