Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize