we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
