That's when you crack a 10am beer
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
