It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
