She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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