Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cockslap morals
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
