the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
