Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
