Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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