i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
