His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize