the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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