Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
