im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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