32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
