fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
