Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
