Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I will pee on everything he values.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She's not a foreskin expert like you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
