How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize