I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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