drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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