How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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