the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
