THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you win again, gameday.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize