I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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