he thought i was a dude.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
