Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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