Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
