Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
