I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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