I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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