her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
