you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize