Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
