He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
