I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
