If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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