Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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