I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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