Your face is a jimmy john
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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