i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
