my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
