Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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