Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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