one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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