just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
