it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
