That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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