You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
