i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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