Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
